Dating in these modern digital times can be quite an ordeal. It can offer exciting experiences, but also some unpleasant natures.
To help women stay away from certain men, a network of Facebook groups called “Are we dating the same guy?” has sprung up.
On the part of the officials, it’s clear that the group was created for women to protect each other – because who doesn’t want to be warned off an asshole?
– Everyone knows about the “Tinder Scammer”. Could it have been stopped earlier with a group like this back then? they ask.
A typical post in such a group contains a picture of a guy – either asking if anyone has anything to share about the guy (who you’re flirting with), or with a clear warning that you should stay away from him here 🚩
The first of these groups was founded in New York in March last year, and since then groups have been set up in Los Angeles, Paris, Sydney, London, Dubai, Berlin and more.
I arrived in January Norwegian edition. This currently has 5,300 members, and has increased by nearly 1,300 members in the past week alone.
Occasional delivery
In the Facebook group, there are clear guidelines, among other things, that only men are allowed to share the photo, first name and place of residence. All details about Why If this guy isn’t something to bet on, you should check out IM.
However, it is no secret that a number of men have had their passports signed in the comment fields.
NRK saw several photos of men with full names on the set.
according to Mashable This accidental release has led to some joining the group just for fun – like the lady next door looking for a bit of gossip.
Everything is shared on the page from comments saying “he set fire” to serious accusations.
When an NRK journalist sent a direct message asking for information about a person, she retrieved everything from allegations of rape to information about various prison cases.
Sharing content from “Are we dating the same guy?” is strictly prohibited. So if someone knows someone mentioned in the group and chooses to tell them about it, they will be blocked.
This means that most men live in a state of uncertainty. “Peter” was one of them – until NRK reached out.
– No chance to defend myself
Peter shared his photo, as well as his full name, on the set.
Looks like there’s a guy he met on Tinder who wants to check if he’s a good chick.
– I was shocked and a little put off, actually. I was not aware of the existence of such groups, he says.
– It is unpleasant to know that people can talk about me behind my back. After all, I have no opportunity to defend myself, to explain or clarify what might be written about me.
There can be many rumors which are absolutely untrue on this side, about me and other men. This doesn’t sound right to me at all.
The fact that someone shares information about you on such a page also takes away the possibility of you being able to start off with a blank slate with someone new, Peter points out.
He understands the need to look out for the person you’re dating, but he believes the best way to get to know someone is to actually get to know them in real life.
“I think everyone is very curious about the people they want to get into a romantic relationship with, but there is a limit to how much you can share about other people on the internet without letting them know,” he says.
– Perhaps this is where the problem lies; They are not aware of this, nor have they been given consent.
You want to share positive experiences as well
The officials behind the Norwegian version of “Should We Date the Same Guy?” Writes to NRK that The group is also there to be able to talk about one of them good An experience you had on a date or something like that:
– Therefore the group is dedicated to positive and negative experiences, generally all about dating and life as a woman!
When asked how to ensure that rumors and false allegations are not spread, they replied that each post must be approved by the official.
In addition, they delete comments that “Unlucky”. DrIf the rules are not followed, you risk being kicked out of the group.
– If someone feels violated or discriminated against, you have every right to tell them, if you request removal of a photo, this must happen immediately.
Regarding Petter’s case, the official wrote that it’s difficult to comment on his case, since they don’t know the dating profile behind him or the name (nickname) he’s using.
– DrIt must not appear as a personal attack. It is also important to show how many engagements we got that yielded good results – The information that comes to light can prevent very bad situations.
Norwegian Data Protection Authority: – Piercing stick
communications manager i Norwegian Data Protection Authority Janne Stang Dahl is well aware that Peter reacts to his identification in a closed Facebook group.
– Hang and expose unknowingly. It works as a gap stick. Although it is a closed group, it is easy to share information with others.
Dahl says she understands the idea behind “Should we date the same guy?” And for people to exchange experiences with each other. But when it comes out on the social scene like Facebook, there are other requirements.
– If information is exchanged in private messages, it is not intrusive. But if it is posted in a group, it can privacy regulations Working in. There are a lot of legal nuances here, so it’s hard to say exactly what’s legal and what’s illegal. But based on the story Peter tells, it’s pretty clear he can demand that his picture be removed.
– How should you proceed if you know you are on a site like this?
– First you have to contact the person who posted it, if you know who it is. The next thing is to contact the administrator of the group and request that they be removed immediately. It’s your right.
If a post is deemed grossly offensive, Dahl says, it can be reported to the police. You can also lodge a complaint with the Norwegian Data Protection Authority.
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