The #Metoo Violation | It probably isn’t okay to be called cute, I didn’t realize that

(Telemark newspaper): Should it then be possible to smile, maybe say thank you and move on with life? Richer compliment. I’m done with this.

Yes, perhaps these compliments do not always come off as courageous. But is it really that dangerous?

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“Of course you can interview me. I can’t say no to someone as nice as you.”

The verdict was told to Varden debate director Heidi Ostus Eriksen when she covered the Notodden Blues Festival, according to itself. On Friday, she wrote a commentary about how she received “unpleasant comments” from the men she interviewed.

Being nice is definitely not good. I wasn’t aware of that. When I’m nice, I’m happy. Come back smiling, say thank you. I use ordinary folk customs. I’m a completely normal person even when I’m at work.

Say no and move on

“There is space available in my motorhome if you want to spend the night. Høhø,” is another example, admittedly highlighted forcefully in her caption.

She replied, “No thanks, I’m at work.” Polite. bachelor. specific.

It’s not worse. Say no. Move on with your life.

She didn’t, and it would be very strange if the interviewee had already predicted yes. I wasn’t there, but I dare say it was said as a bad joke. I also suppose Eriksen would have mentioned it if the person in question had tried to physically stop her from moving forward, or if he had started itching. Then it would have been something hero last.

As mentioned, it is not a spunky compliment. Maybe he wasn’t even meant as one. An unnecessary approach, for sure. But you can choose how you take it. Isn’t it a little fun when you come home from work with a funny little story to tell your colleagues? I think so. Then you can laugh a little at this silly guy, who has no more finesse than that.

Then of course is the case where the sender cannot know what the recipient experienced earlier in their life. The person concerned may have been abused in a mobile home or similar. Then this comment can be very interesting. And of course this is horrific. Unfortunately, you can’t tell in any conversations you have with strangers. Some may be caused by the smell of mutton cabbage, others can’t stand the sound of breaking glass, etc.

Yes, guys get comments too

Eriksen also asks if he “did it with one of my male colleagues?”. Mostly not. What I do think, though, is that a male journalist would get comments of exactly the same caliber from the group of girlfriends who fell for the third cup of…let’s say rosy, to make it properly stereotypical. The question one might ask again is, “Would the man react just as strongly to the comment?”

As one mature male colleague says: “If it’s any consolation, I’ve been invited to spend the night in a cabin, tent, and caravan this summer. From 20 to 60 something at the festivals I went to. The best was on Friday at three in the morning. When a girl called me. Oh, the photographer! Are you going to join me in the tent and take pictures of my boobs!? Then I couldn’t help but laugh. Understand that there is a huge difference working as a woman around passionate men who have a very high self-image. But full ladies as classes can be a challenge there too. Then it’s okay, because I’m a man after all. I’d rather have the attention than be up in the air. Strange maybe, but that’s the way I screw it up».

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Support those who need it

Eriksen builds on the “Me Too” movement, which she says has made the journalist’s job easier. Eriksen is older than me, and he probably had time to experience more. How it was in business before, I won’t comment on it. But when it’s enough to get two half-rated comments at a festival to respond with a comment article, the movement has really gone downhill.

Unfortunately, after 15 years in the game, I know there can be unpleasant comments and approaches from male interviewees. And an inappropriate proposal. Perhaps that was the reason for my reaction to the fact that the worst offer I had at work was coming in 2023,” Eriksen writes.

If this is the most boring thing you’ve heard after 15 years in working life, I think that’s pretty good. Then there are other professional groups that should have this focus. Like taxi drivers, which Fardeen referred to Article on Tuesday. They are sitting in a closed room, alone with the passengers, possibly away from people.

We must distinguish

Of course, I think it is right and reasonable that those who have experienced something really bad should get help and support, those who have gone through something really painful, ugly molestation, disgusting sexual assault. But why should we pollute their stories, and their need for support and attention, with so much insignificance?

Why should a woman who, say, her boss tried to kiss her, be on an equal footing with another woman who was grabbed and had an erect naked penis rubbing her bare thighs? For me, those are two very different things. And I think it’s equally important to separate the two. Because when everything is put together and mixed in the same pot, it is as if we do not see the difference. It is as if those who have experienced real abuse are drowning in the crowd of everyone who has been exposed to someone who does not quite know how to check on others. Someone who tried to be funny, or someone who simply lacked social antennae.

By allowing ourselves to be blown away in this way by very simple comments from men or women, we are simply creating a very difficult society. It should be possible, even in 2023, to not be perfectly personable, completely polite and completely correct in language at all times. Then life becomes gray.

Let’s give those who deserve support to get it, and then the rest of us can say no thanks, or just hold back a bit. Talk about putting women into a box weaker than men, if we don’t want to ignore such trivialities ourselves.

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The third comment highlighted by Eriksen is “How long have you been on the job?”. If you can get offended by someone asking how long you work, you should almost stop being around other people.

Finally, let’s turn to the comment received by Eriksen, which really made me think that’s enough.

“Come with us to the party then, young lady.”

how. How inappropriate to say? Yes, she was at work. But then she can also say what she said to the person with the mobile home. “No thanks, I’m at work.”

And then she can laugh a little to herself, think “Well, it’s been a fun day at work – cheers and an invitation to a party”, and maybe add “for some idiots”.

Important nuances

There are clearly over the top comments that should not be ignored. like Summer replacement at Sandefjords Blad Kristine Vedvik Henriksen got When she took off her shirt during an interview, because it was just warm enough to sit in the shirt on.

“Baby, you don’t need to undress for me. Young girls usually seduce others.” It’s worse. the It is an inappropriate comment. Here, Guest suggests Henriksen take a sexual approach. It is difficult to interpret it as a compliment.

But guys, let’s put up with each other a little more. Let’s be a little rounded at the edges, and a little flicker in the eye. Such as when Henriksen wrote in the same commentary that she has been described as a “really nice girl” in many interview situations. Say thank you very much. smiling. That’s a particularly nice thing to say to anyone. Regardless of whether you are at work or not.