MGP, Melody Grand Prix | Do you really want this bowel disease to come back?

(Nordland newspaper): Some people like to lick lampposts when it's very cold. And still others pay people to kick them in the balls. Even such obvious self-harm tendencies make more sense than spending the evening watching Melody's Grand Prix Final.

– I won't watch Melodi Grand Prix, said someone at work.

– Do not try to. What else do you plan to use the silver fringe jacket for?

It is simply impossible not to relate to Melodi Grand Prix. You have to either realize that this is something you're not watching or fully accept it. Myself, I mostly did the former, though I watched it with the kids for a few years — until they developed a taste for the music and realized how serious the event was.

I have thought for many years about how doom takes its shape. But it's clearly a reminder of Saturday and the following two weekends that flashes across the screen. While coronavirus and HIV have been reasonably controlled, starting MGP has proven much more difficult. In fact, the new version of the epidemic is much longer lasting than the old version.

As with other epidemics, there are of course those who claim that this is not a problem. The resistance appears to be continuing. After 63 years of this phenomenon, there is still a growing number of deniers of the principle of the Great Forgiveness – who refuse to accept the damage it has inflicted on the human psyche.

Since the beginning of television, the tune-in competition has held an important place in Norwegian homes. Everyone was watching, and those who forgot the date and added an event to the same evening were guaranteed to fail. Even the Blitz concerts were much less well attended on the evenings when MGP was held.

The funny thing is that over time, the music has received so little airtime on Norwegian television that even Blitz bands rely on the buttons if they are to participate.

It's often said that among this year's MGP participants you'll find pure goth band Gothminister, and folk rockers Gåte and Anders Odden, who previously played in the black metal band Cadaver. This was certainly not the case before. Today, it feels like there's a competition to sell a soul for 10 minutes of television time.

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A lot happened when glam metal band Wig Wham won the Norwegian final in 2005. The following year, even death metal band Lordi won the final. Main final At Eurovision – in fact it was the first time Finland had won, after 45 years of participation. This radically changed the perception of which species could win such competition. Over time, the strangest artists recorded.

“What this show is missing now is a banjo player on a unicycle,” I imagine the TV producer saying, as they plan next year's Fez show.

MGP is and will continue to be light entertainment, no matter who is involved. Perhaps it's no surprise, then, that the lineup is reminiscent of Farmmen from Hell.

Strippers, singing grandmothers in traditional folk costume, dancing bears, ladies with beards, people who inhale helium to reach musical notes – spare no expense to get twelve pointers from the Moldovan jury.

Over time, the Eurovision Song Contest has become closely associated with gay culture. Which isn't too surprising, given the lavish costumes and charming plastic packaging. Sending hints in the direction of both drag shows and Village People is even more obvious.

I don't have any problems with clothing for a music competition, but for me it's the music that triggers my eczema. As I said to a gay friend: “It doesn't help with all the media campaigns in the world. Until you collectively disavow all boy band music and MGP, there will always be homophobia.”

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In the period 2006-2010, there were semi-final matches every year in Bodø. This has created tremendous interest in the city. The Nordlandshallen was completely packed with audience, and the MGP Junior was organized under the auspices of Avisa Nordland – the winners were able to share the stage with Ole Ivars, Tone Damli Aaberge and Wenche Myhre herself.

Everything that Bodø has been positive about in terms of culture – from Terje Nilsen and Kråkesølv to Stormen and Parkenfestivalen – is thrown into oblivion when something like this comes along. If you bully one sheep, it is not easy to remind him of something else, as it is known.

Some expressed their desire to bring the semi-finals back here again. Sorry, but do you really want this gastro-infected event to return – in the year that Bodø boasts the title of 'European Capital of Culture'?

In my opinion, it's as irrational as longing for a period when Glimt played in the OBOS League.

Or when people were so poor that they had to content themselves with bark bread.