A YouGov survey conducted on behalf of Danske Bank showed that credit card debt was a topic of discussion for 27 per cent of Norwegians.
At the same time, nine percent of this group, or 40,000 Norwegians, say the outcome of the discussions was a breakup.
That private money and debt are a source of conflict does not surprise me. But I think it’s a shame it ended up breaking up, says consumer economist Thea Olsen of Danske Bank to Nettavisen.
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It is seen as a betrayal of trust
Stine R. Kase is a cohabitation expert who works daily as a couple and family therapist. She believes that there are several reasons besides credit card debt that lead to couples breaking up.
At the same time, Kase believes that there are two factors in particular that lead to problems with credit card debt, which can erode a couple’s relationship, the first being that the trust between spouses may have disappeared.
– I think there’s a lot of mistrust down here. Maybe he didn’t tell the other partner about his debts, and tried to hide them because they’re shameful, Casey tells Netavien.
He adds:
– When this first comes to a day, it is considered a betrayal of trust. Working with many couples, I’ve seen this can be a very sore point.
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Kase also believes that economic discussions may reach a point where it seems impossible to deal with the problem. After that, you tend to be less solution-oriented, and at the same time more negative, says the expert.
It becomes what is called a stuck thread, where you try to get close to each other, but end up in a typical conflict pattern. Then you tend to speed in attack and defense, and the temperature rises.
Do this work at first
Kase advises couples with financial problems to take advantage of professional expertise, preferably by contacting their bank.
She also believes therapy can be beneficial. At the same time, it may also be beneficial to involve a neutral third party in the discussion.
If you haven’t chosen a therapist, you might, for example, ask a neutral family member or friend you trust to be the mediator. You can see it from both sides, without making things too dramatic or dramatic, she says.
At the same time, couples therapist Kase encourages couples to dare to talk together about financial challenges, before the relationship gets too static. It can help prevent traumatic situations.
Do this work at the beginning of the relationship. There will always be challenges, and this is how we live together, but this is among the most painful, and preventable, she says.
– Of course you must have a plan
Consumer economist Thea Olsen also recommends Norwegians tackle the problems.
When you know the economy is sick, it can be difficult to open bills that arrive in the mail. They stay on the kitchen table for a long time, and the stack of envelopes keeps growing.
Debt repayment problems always start somewhere, and it doesn’t have to be large sums before you end up in a vicious cycle. Olsen says it can start small and grow big over time.
Consumer economists often advise using a credit card, but one must have a responsible relationship with buying products and services on credit.
– Using a credit card in and of itself isn’t a negative thing, but you should of course have a payment plan in place in order to avoid interest costs. If you don’t, the bills will start arriving in the mail, says Olsen.
If the situation is getting out of hand, it is important to open your eyes.
You simply have to dare to plunge into reality, even if it feels painful. You should get a complete overview of your financial situation. Get an overview of all your expenses. Set a budget. Olsen says this doesn’t have to be complicated.
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