My roommate doesn’t take my anxiety seriously

Since I was little, I was terrified of everything to do with loud noises.

I am writing to you because my problem is embarrassing to talk about, and I don’t know who to turn to. Whether it’s New Year’s Eve with rockets, closing doors, or blowing up balloons. The latter in particular is a problem in the day-to-day life of a toddler, and most of the other things I can avoid.

I live in gay accommodation and told my partner about my anxiety about loud noises, but she still thinks it’s just a “fun thing”, and that I’m an adult and should put up with a lot.

A few weeks ago, we were about to celebrate the kids’ birthday at our house, and I tried everything in my power to keep us from having balloons in the house. But when I got home from work that day, my roommate was already decorating the party. There were balloons, lots of balloons, and I felt like I was starting to panic.

When I confronted her with this, she only said that our son wanted balloons and that “all birthdays need them.” I was in despair and she explained that this would make the evening difficult for me. Then I was told to collect myself, which is what I want!

slap behind my back

I decided to try persevere and started decorating the cake, while my roommate kept on decorating. Suddenly I landed, and I thought my heart was going to stop. When she turned around, she was standing with an exploding balloon in the corner of her mouth and a smile on her face. She inflated the balloon until it crashed, only to defy me.

This is just one of several incidents. I don’t make her understand that this is actually difficult for me, and that there is nothing childish to put down. Am I the one asking for help?

Psychologist Frode Thwain answers: