New survey: Half have had bad dating experiences

HA recent survey by dating app Happn showed that more than half have had bad experiences on a date. More than 300 Norwegian users of the app participated in the survey.

– It's interesting that a lot of people have had challenges with their dating. It shows that finding the right person can be difficult, but people also keep their spirits up and hope for the best, according to Simon Quest-Matheisen, dating expert at Happn.

From bad experiences, many dating app users respond that the other person was only interested in themselves. One said the date constantly talked about his ex, while another said she had to shoulder the entire burden of communication without answering any questions.

– be honest

The survey shows that many people have experienced meeting people who look nothing like the pictures on their dating profile, or have experienced a complete 'meltdown' in terms of values, human outlook, ambitions or interests.

– Mathiesen explains how important it is to listen to your partner, ask questions, and show your interest in getting to know the person in question.

According to the dating expert, honesty and openness are the most important things for success on apps.

– It is important to fill out your profile and present yourself in an honest way, whether with pictures or words. Matthiessen says verification makes a real-life encounter safer.

If the date was unsuccessful, only one in ten responded that they ghosted the person afterward. A quarter responded that they had never rejected anyone, while half reported that they never wanted to see each other again.

Ingrid Blissom, who has extensive clinical experience as a psychologist and sexologist, believes that dating apps make establishing a natural connection more difficult compared to meeting up “the old way”.

-You know that the vast majority of people offer themselves a better life. The potential for attraction is greater when you can present your whole self, with mood, flare and demeanor, rather than static images and sentences.

Poorer communication

According to Blessom, women are often more selective and dismissive, while men lower their standards more. She stresses that a large number of matches can give the illusion that the best is in the next sweep.

– There will be more emphasis on the appearance of such applications, and it will be easier to use them to cover only physical needs. You also don't have shared social obligations to each other, so you meet in a different way.

– All the men enter

According to the psychologist, this can contribute to people not taking each other seriously. If you have mutual friends or acquaintances, you may have a greater social incentive to behave properly.

– When you have shared relationships, there may not be as much use and disposal as many may experience on apps.

Know what you want

-You have clear requirements for what you need in a partner. This way you can easily filter out people who aren't a good fit for you, Blessum says.

Blissom advises being open from the first moment, to reveal common values, and it is not strange to be honest in your vision of life:

-If you want to have children within five years, say so. It scares away those who don't want it, which is a good thing. She explains that if you accept too much, you will quickly end up in long-term half-relationships that lead to nothing.

Blessum believes that more people can become better at seeing who wants commitments and who doesn't.

Wait to get emotionally invested before words and plans are followed by action — so you can experience that the other person is truly invested in you, she advises.

-And remember that excitement and desire do not necessarily mean that you are suitable as lovers!